I'm a whiz at New Year's resolutions. Why? I know how to phrase them.
For years, I've been mastering the art of completely obliterating my own promises to myself without technically committing hypocrisy.
What's more, if I happen to tell a friend my resolutions and they see me breaking one, I can repeat to them the exact way in which I phrased the resolution, exposing the loophole. Loopholes are your friends (especially if you're a lawyer), and genuine self-improvement is the enemy!
Saying "I will try to" is so lame. Everyone will see right through you.
For your reading pleasure, I have compiled my tips into a gallery of cute puppies. I shall assume that all of you have a terrible habit of killing cute puppies, and use the half-hearted vow to kill fewer cute puppies as my "example resolution."*
*Holidash in no way endorses the killing of puppies, especially cute ones
Resolution Loopholes With Cute Puppies
- How to Throw an Easter Brunch Buffet - Holidays Central
- Easter Centerpiece Ideas - Holidays Central
- Spring Clean Like a Pro - Reader's Digest
- Easter Egg Decorating Ideas - Celebrations
- Unique Twists on Spring Cocktails - Celebrations
- Easter Bunny Cake - KitchenDaily
- How to Play: Easter Egg Race - ParentDish
- Early Spring Flowers: What's Blooming? - Shelterpop