After reading the disheartening (yet oh so informative) article
7 Signs You're a Shopaholic, I immediately took a good look in the mirror (and at my bank account). In his book
Shoptimism, author Lee Eisenberg suggests the seven deadly warning signs of compulsive shoppers, and although I don't quite fit the bill for the first six, the last one rings true for me in almost every circumstance:
1. You buy things even though you can't afford them.
2. You believe others would be horrified if they found out about your spending habits.
3. You write checks even though you know there's not enough in the bank to cover them.
4. If you have any money left at the end of a pay period, you feel compelled to spend it.
5. You make only the minimum payments on your credit-card statements (if you make any at all).
6. You feel anxious or nervous on days you don't go shopping.
7. You buy things to make yourself feel better.
Bingo. Guilty as charged. Had a fight with the husband? Buy a latte. Rough day at work? Splurge on a new bath soak. Overwhelmed with responsibility? Treat myself to a pedicure. The list goes on... and on and on. So what's the solution? Holidash enlisted the help of Matt Wallaert, behavioral consumer psychologist and Science Advisor to
LendingTree, to help stop the cycle of impulse purchases:
Wallaert notes, "It is a cycle. You buy, you feel good, it wears off and you feel bad, so you have to buy more to feel good again. Insert the word 'use drugs' in there and it starts to sound awfully familiar. That's because shopping behavior can operate much like an addiction, in that we get 'addicted' to the goodness we feel when we buy that special something or find that awesome sale."
And in today's economy, we can all use a bit of feel-good, right? But the economy may be one reason we're shopping. Wallaert says that a lack of control is often a prime symptom of compulsive shoppers: "It is hard to feel in-control these days, with the economy so bad and so many chances to feel like there are critical life decisions that you're getting wrong. One of the things about purchasing is that it is a perfect, if short-term, expression of control: You make a choice, you decide, you pay, you have it right in your hands. Decision made, transaction done, control exercised. Shopping isn't a gamble -- the good feeling is immediate and reliable. It is the aftermath that is so problematic."
So how do we combat the drug that is overspending? Wallaert shares his three super useful tips with Holidash:
1. Plan Ahead
One of the keys to avoiding compulsive buying is making a plan that controls how you spend your money and forces you to make trade-offs when you deviate from that plan, rather viewing money as an ever-expanding pool (or a bottomless pit). I recommend action-based budgeting -- that is, after you do the standard budgeting procedure of figuring out how much you can spend (take how much you earn, set aside what you need for rent and other important required expenses, a portion for saving, and then designate the rest for optional spending), translate those breakdowns into actions. First, track your spending for a month and figure out how much a particular behavior costs: A restaurant, for example, might be an average $30 bill. So if your budget for restaurant eating is $100, you can go out to eat 3 times. Count them down as you use them up throughout the month: I've even helped people use a calendar with stickers to keep track. Or use an online tool like
Moneyright, which both creates a budget and computes your actions automatically.
2. Monitor Your Money
If you are using a budget and actions, you only have those to pay attention to, but if you don't want or are unwilling to budget, at least use something to monitor your spending. Make a commitment to check your bank account daily or weekly, and to understand where every dollar goes. The mere act of looking at what you've spent tends to slow your spending progression, as it makes you think twice about spending when you know you'll have to confront it later.
3. Change Your Environment
This one is huge. Want to avoid overspending? Don't put yourself in places you can spend. So for example, Black Friday is a huge temptation for a lot of overspenders. So make plans that you can't get out of, like cooking with friends or participating in a Thanksgiving-related event, so that you simply can't go to the store, no matter how good the sale. Keep yourself away from the Internet, too -- the harder you make it shop, the less you will.
One last trick from Wallaert: "If you
do have something you want to buy, you can do things to make sure you buy that and only that. You can leave your credit card in the car, go shopping, then force yourself to walk to the car to get payment...you may be surprised what you don't want when you've had five minutes to think about it. If you know exactly what item you want and its sale price, you can write a check for that exact amount or carry only the amount of cash needed to pay for that item and nothing else," notes Wallaert.
I can't wait to take Wallaert's advice to heart (and wallet). This year, I plan to find things that make myself feel better -- minus the price tag -- such as caroling, crafting and cooking. With a few changes and a lot of tips, I'll be walking (and not spending!) in a winter wonderland all season long.
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ira 11-16-2009 @ 8:45AM
I think this is great advice. I learned a lot about spending, SAVING and living a "richer" life from the book "How to Become Filthy Rich on Your Current Income" at www.how-to-become-rich.com. If people read books like this one we would not have the current situation we do.
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Annette 11-16-2009 @ 5:12PM
Affordable and reliable vacations with a guarantee: www.travelfhtm.com/annettejames
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Annie 11-16-2009 @ 10:12AM
You can retire earlier if you don't spend your youth wasting money. Buy the basics, bedroom set, living room dining room set, car, but leave the junk in the stores, forty years later you'll be selling them at garage sales or donating them to charity wondering why you wasted your hard earned money in the first place. Retire at 50 instead of in your 60s with a great annuity and time and health to do what you want.
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Eileen Wright 11-16-2009 @ 10:35AM
Unfortunenately, this article states "to leave your credit card in your car":
that statement alone will lead to a rash of vehicle break-ins this holiday season.
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amy3e 11-16-2009 @ 10:35AM
There is a great article with tips to avoid overspending this holiday season at Celebration Ideas Online They will help with shopalholic tendencies and atill allow you to give great gifts without blowing your budget.
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Cheryl 11-16-2009 @ 11:19AM
wow this was scary how many of the 7 were true about me. Thanks for this article.
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George 11-16-2009 @ 12:08PM
ALL YOU SPAMMING FILTH: You're going to destroy our being able to comment freely on articles we read. When this happens, and it will, I hope we're all aware enough not to blame Obama, or Bush, or Clinton: this freedom was destroyed by free enterprise being abused by low-life spammers. Period. Congratulations.
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JM 11-16-2009 @ 12:31PM
If you read some of the uneducated nonsense people spout after these articles, you'd WELCOME not being able to comment.
p. j. nichypor 11-16-2009 @ 1:09PM
What exactly is the "aholic" part of the word? Does this mean that people with an alleged "Addiction" to shopping also have to get drunk to shop? Sort of like the similar misuse of another "made up" word, "Chocoholic"... This must indicate that an affinity for chocolate is accompanied by an addiction to alcohol. Do they dip a Hershey bar in vodka or wash down a Snickers with a shot of Jack? Or perhaps shopping, actually getting out and doing something they enjoy looks like an affliction to some observers. It is more likely a sign of an emotional disorder if taken to an extreme. I seriously doubt the possibility of someone experiencing chemical dependence withdrawal from being deprived of shopping... Oh well, I guess it makes for good filler on a slow news day. Does that make me a "News Aholic"??? Though I must admit, most news that I view on the "Idiot-Box" does inspire me to start drinking...Is it time to set up "Breathalyzers at Macy's to turn drunken shoppers away?
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gr8bsn 11-16-2009 @ 1:15PM
If someone reverts to shopping as a "coping mechanism", then yes, they can become addicted. Coping mechanisms release pleasure centers in the brain. In other words, your brain rewards you for doing something to relieve the stress. For a number of people, this can lead to addiction.
If a person literally gets stressed out to the point that they can't go a day without shopping, then yes, they have a problem and need some help.
Talk to a psychologist, I'm sure they will be happy to explain it to you.
gr8bsn 11-16-2009 @ 1:10PM
Number 3 is why many businesses will not accept checks anymore. If someone in 2009 breaks out a checkbook to pay for something, then you can pretty much assume that this person is writing a bad check.
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Jacquelyn 11-16-2009 @ 1:33PM
I had one credit card many years ago that I used to build up credit. It had a $300 limit and when it expired I cut it up and threw out any other advertisements for credit card and/or loan approval. My husband and I avoid credit cards and taking out loans for small things. We are in our twenties and were able to buy a modest house and a small car because we have been responsible with our finances and credit. The only debts we have are the mortgage, car loan, and student loans. Absolutely no small outstanding debts to our names, and we like it that way. We have a savings account and we keep a rainy day jar hidden in the house that we add cash to. The jar alone has accumulated enough to help us make a trip to Ohio next month without having to cut into our monthly budget. Today's younger generations have completely forgotten that it took our parents and grandparents years of hard work and saving to obtain the things they had in later years. Credit does not give us opportunities, it makes us prisoners. Who in their right mind would pay interest on food, drinks, presents, and clothes????? Not I.
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p 11-16-2009 @ 2:45PM
I thought this was supposed to be "Mindless" fun. I'm sorry that gr8brn has taken such offense to it. It's only opinion, so why the attack? Do you have problems you need to talk about? Maybe I can help you. I'll start with humor and maybwe we can work through your anger issues. Are you an "Angerholic"?
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PN 11-16-2009 @ 2:15PM
Also, when a bunch of new albums by pop artists come out on the same day such as a few days before Thanksgiving and you are tempted to buy ALL of them! Because you like ALL of those singers and artists. There's a shopaholic problem there. The way they cram all those sales on the same day lead to the impulse and the excess. I look past the price. I look for the best out of my purchases,not by what the marketers, media or somebody else thinks.
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uster 11-16-2009 @ 2:28PM
American statistic's.....
33 million people are shopaholics in this nation....a tad more women than male's.
Men just buy other things than women....larger item's...electronics...etc.
it is a shame what a sick society we realy are...and than we got the nerve to talk about other countries? The american arrogance should be added to the obessive behavior and than we would score 305 million..
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p. j. nichypor 11-16-2009 @ 8:37PM
Got an "Angerholic" out there...
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Melanie 11-16-2009 @ 2:55PM
Who's this Air Force guy, and won't someone for the love of God date him? Please??
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dean 11-16-2009 @ 3:17PM
your out of your minds if you're doing any shopping right now.
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