Want to get asked back for a return stay? Here experts advise on dealing with everything from food allergies to grocery bills so that you can be the best holiday visitor ever.
How To Be A Good Guest
By Lauren DeBellis
Want to get asked back for a return stay? Here experts advise on dealing with everything from food allergies to grocery bills so that you can be the best holiday visitor ever.
Offer to Help Out In The Kitchen
Pitching in with chores-whether chopping vegetables or taking out the trash-is always the way to go. "However, follow your host's cue," says Lynn Rosen, author of "The Elements of the Table: A Simple Guide for Hosts and Guest" (Clarkson Potter, 2007). If she kindly turns you down, suggesting that you relax instead, then you should do just that." Rosen also stresses the importance of being respectful. "As a houseguest you must always be sensitive to your host's style of doing things."
Talk about Food Allergies In Advance
Lizzie Post, great-great-granddaughter of etiquette pioneer Emily Post and author and spokesperson for the Emily Post Institute says, "There should definitely be a discussion about any allergies or dietary restrictions before the visit," Post says. "Just be sure to do it in a gentle, friendly way." Offer to bring items with you such as soymilk or gluten-free snacks or if you're a vegetarian, offer to cook up some of your favorite recipes."
If You Smoke, Be Super Considerate
Plan on adjusting to whatever are the rules of house. If your hosts smoke themselves, you can probably do what they do. If they don't, find out what they prefer. "If they ask you to only smoke outside," says Post, "then that's what you'll have to do."
Ask about Laundry Before You Arrive
If you're staying for a long time, it's inevitable that you'll need to wash some clothes. Post suggests asking in advance if your host has a washer and dryer in the home and then if you can use while you are there. Chances are the answer will always be yes.
Clean Up After Yourself
"I once had houseguests that left the bed a mess and wet towels on the floor," recalls Eddie Ross, lifestyle expert, blogger and former Martha Stewart Living editor. "It drove me nuts! Hang up your towels and tidy up the bed. Your host shouldn't be cleaning up after you." He also suggests removing the pillowcase and top layer of sheets from the bed before you leave. "Your host will appreciate the gesture," he said.
Help Your Kids Be Good Company
"This is a great time to instill good guest behavior in your children," says Post. "Start by helping them to pack light. Instruct them to bring only one or two comfort items along." That means the massive collections of Legos and stuffed animals should stay home. Also, remember as a parent, you're responsible for your child's belongings and their actions so keep a close eye on their behavior and their stuff.
Fit In With the Family Schedule
"Remember, you're a guest in their home so it's important to be respectful of their routines," says entertaining expert and mother of two Jeanne Benedict of Celebrations.com. "If the kids come home from school, need to unwind and get a little too loud for your taste, politely excuse yourself." Also, says Post, it's important to always be on your best behavior. "Whenever you're around kids, reign in your language and be conscious of your actions."
Be Sensitive about Money Matters
"It's always great to offer to pitch-in with the grocery bill," says Benedict. However, don't make it an uncomfortable situation. If your host refuses, accept it and think of other ways to help out. "Think about your strengths," says Benedict. "If you're a strong baker, offer to whip up a special dessert one night."
Don't Turn Their Home into an Internet Cafe
If you must bring your favorite electronic devices, don't check them constantly. "You're there to visit with your host," says Post. " Your priority is the people in front of you at that moment." That being said, its fine to check your e-mails before breakfast or after the household retires for the evening.
