Find out the do's and dont's of birthday parties. Credit: MeddyGarnet, Flickr

When you say "birthday party," the first thing kids think of is presents. So does that mean you're raising a little Greedy Gus?

Not necessarily. We checked with the experts to find out how your kids can have their birthday cake -- and their presents, too.

"The practice of giving to others is something in which everyone should find pleasure," says Kathie Martin, who teaches kids to be good citizens at the Etiquette School of Birmingham in Alabama. "Young children love getting gifts, but gaining an appreciation of giving as well as receiving may take encouragement."

We know birthday gift giving is an art, but we had to know how to make receiving an art form too. Martin filled us in:

Holidash: Is there a "best time" during a party to open the presents?
Kathie Martin: I suggest the end of the party as the best time to open presents. That prevents the gifts from become a major distraction from planned activities and -- in the case of younger children -- prevents possible damage to the gifts.

H: What should children be doing as they open?
KM: Try to seat guests away from the recipient so everyone can get a clear view of the gift once it's revealed. A parent or other adult can hand the gifts one by one to the child, so that there won't be the "open mine now" demands. (The parent or another adult should write down each gift and the giver for thank you notes later. An hour later it may be difficult to remember who gave what.) Coach your child to show their appreciation by looking the child who has given the gift in the eyes, smiling and saying, "thank you [name]." Perhaps they can manage something like, "I love it!" or "I can't wait to try it out!" Try to explain that they should refrain from comments like, "I already have one like this" and to always smile and thank, even if they hate the gift.

H:Should "thank yous" be immediate or saved for the follow-up thank you note?
KM: Later that day or the next day, have the child write a thank you note to go in the mail. If the child has notes with their name imprinted, that's great, but it's not necessary. Thank you notes only need to have four sentences: The first two reference the gift, the third is about something else, the last references the gift again. (Thank you for the great Barbie doll. I needed one more to complete my Barbie family and this one has such beautiful clothes. Speaking of clothes, I loved that sweater you wore to the party -- it made your eyes look so blue! Thanks again for my beautiful Barbie.)

H: Should there be a "gift table" or is that inappropriate?
KM: A gift table is fine as long as it's out of the way and not the focus of the party. A party should be all about the fun and activities, not about the loot. If gifts are not encouraged and some guests didn't bring gifts, place any that come in a separate room and don't make them part of the party.

H: Do you have any other tips for parents for proper present etiquette?
KM: Even if young children can't yet write, they should send thank you notes to family members and friends who have given them gifts. First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy penned thank you notes that Caroline and John dictated. She may have helped a little with the wording, but she instilled the need to write them with each gift they received. Your child may not receive the quantity of gifts the Kennedy children were given, but anyone who is kind enough to present a gift should be properly thanked in a hand-written note. An e-mail or text note just doesn't cut it -- teach your children that taking the time to hand write a note, buy a stamp and mail the note shows how much you care.