What's the best party you ever threw? Credit: Getty Images
Since I was a child, my mom told me over and over how important her 50th birthday party would be. She would say, "Billie, I fully expect you to throw me a 50th birthday party -- and it better be good." Lucky for me, by the time my mom turned 50, I had saved up money for two years to throw her the best party ever, and it was one of the most special events I have ever been a part of.
One of the most important pieces was to make sure the guest list was utterly perfect. With family scattered around the United States, and my mother's stepmom in Mexico, I knew I had my work cut out. After making sure the key players were in place, I went ahead and set the date. And then it was time to find the place.
My roommate at the time was a chef at a cafe, and they opened for breakfast and lunch, so with his help, we approached the owner and asked if we could rent it out for the evening. She said yes, and I was able to rent the cafe for a minimal fee. This is a great way to avoid paying full price. So, I had my venue, and a chef who made up a fabulous "around the world" menu inspired by my mom's travels.
I went to my local print shop and ordered professional invitations for a steal -- look for discontinued styles, as these will be less expensive. I invited everyone -- old friends, new friends, family. But I still felt as though something was missing.
That something was music. I wanted a live band to round out the evening, and given that my mom has a master's degree in dance movement therapy, I knew that the band better be rocking. I asked around town, and found a band that was soulful and classic. The trick to finding an affordable band is to ask around; if you go with a band that is relatively unknown, you will score big. For $400, I was able to get the band to play for 3 hours, which is unheard of.
For the cake, I went to my local grocer and found that buying five small cakes that would each feed 10 people each was cheaper and more palate pleasing than one large cake. Each cake represented a decade of her life, and was decorated with sayings that reflected all the things my mom is, like "soul sister" and "loving mother."
For the finishing touches, a friend of mine donated his homegrown dahlias as centerpieces, which added such a pop of color to the tables. The party favors were polka dotted Chinese take out boxes filled with retro-candy from when my mom was a child. All in all, the party cost me about $3000 for 50 people, but the money was truly nothing in comparison to the joy my mom felt when she walked into the room, and we all yelled "Surprise!" It was a triumphant moment for me, and an incredibly special night for my mom.
Billie Nichols contributes to Holidash through Seed.com. Learn more about how you can contribute here.

lisa,4-18-2010, 8:55AM
"Billie, I fully expect you to throw me a 50th birthday party -- and it better be good."
Loving mother?? Are you kidding me??? Sounds more like a psychologically ABUSIVE one to me.
Nice going AOL- you should have filed this story under "Emotionally abusive parents"
EXPECTING a CHILD to pay for a PARENT'S party when they're 50? How OLD is this "KID"? Aren't most "kids" this age struggling with their own lives at this point, let alone having to worry about throwing a lavish party for SELFISH parent??
Just awful, in my book.
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KatieCouric'sNemesis,4-17-2010, 5:29PM
So Mom dictates the birthday party she EXPECTS her daughter to throw for her? How inexpressibly sad!!!
For my mother's seventy-fifth birthday, I sent her 75 roses in the color of her choice. The florist arranged them to look like a huge birthday cake--it took four people to bring them into my mother's house, and she's been the "lady of the roses" in our little town ever since.
My mother would NEVER demand--and it is my great pleasure to surprise her.
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Jackie,4-17-2010, 5:42PM
I agree with you completely. I lost interest in the story when she said her mother said to her "Billie, I fully expect you to throw me a 50th birthday party -- and it better be good." I didn't care after that how she did it. I still don't care. Her mother is a bore. She is a good daughter however.
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KELLY,4-17-2010, 6:02PM
What was the point of yelling surprise? The woman demanded the party so it's not like it was unexpected. Only $3000? For a birthday party? How sad.
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Ms. Mikki,4-17-2010, 6:15PM
Well, I would say that it's good and bad in a way. Back when I turned 50, my friends and kids got tgether and created an intimate get together at a resturant that I would have never been able to afford on my own. I was in a wheelchair at the time, but I ended up dressed up from the floor up, thanks to my dear friends, and everyone was in formal wear! They actually had a "programme" down to the menus! The wait staff was so gracious and everything was perfect. The poem that one of the girlfriends wrote (as I was wheeled into the room) has been printed and hangs on my office wall to this day. There were jokes, laughter, tears, and all, but it was the best birthday that I've ever had!!! I say all that to say this: I did NOT demand anything from my kids or my friends. They were sensitive to my situation, and arranged everything so that I would not be uncomfortable. I do commend the writer for being a good daughter to her mother, regardless of how her mother demanded her 50th to be celebrated, which was not called for. What if she couldn't afford the cost? Some parents feel that their children "owe" them- they owe us nothing, but to have a good life, be successful, be happy and to remember the things that their mothers taught them. Oh- and I never asked for a Birthday Party :-)!
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jimbarry1946,4-17-2010, 6:29PM
Sounds great. I was so sick the day of my surprise 50th party that I barely remember it.
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Pam,4-17-2010, 6:34PM
I have to agree - selfish, self centered mother, loving, caring, generous daughter.
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Stephanie,4-18-2010, 1:10PM
I am guessing that the "you better throw me a 50th" was more of a family joke that was oft repeated over the years for levity. I seriously doubt this mom was truly demanding a 50th birthday celebration from her daughter. C'mon girls! Quit with the supercilious attitudes and recognize the spirit in which the article was intended... the happines they both received... the daughter for giving and the mother for receiving... with some helpful tips thrown in for good measure!
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Jillian,4-17-2010, 7:01PM
FINALLY,! I AM SO GLAD THAT SOMEONE ELSE SEE'S THIS APPROPRIATELY, RATHER THEN ANOTHER REASON FOR COMMENTOR"S TO GRIPE. THANKS" STEPHANIE! YOU HELPED TO RESTOE MY FAITH IN PEOPLE!
Jillian,4-17-2010, 7:02PM
HOW DOES ANYONE WHO WAS NOT THERE, KNOW WHAT THE CONTEXT REALLY WAS. MOM COULD HAVE BEEN KIDDING, SHE COULD HAVE MEANT "IF I LIVE TO BE 50, YOU CAN THROW ME A PARTY!" WHY OH WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE NEGATIVE? POINT IS.YOU WEREN"T THERE, NEITHER WAS I, SO NONE OF US SHOULD JUDGE!!!
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grainman1955,4-17-2010, 7:40PM
Jillian; I couldn't agree with you more.
daytonboi2004,4-17-2010, 7:12PM
Do some of you that commented not think. I can say from experience how the mother meant that. Your are quite stupid if you believe she demanded. My mother is the same way, saying it the same way. However, my mother is planning her own. I'm just helping. We don't plan on spending that much but what we do spend will be well worth it.
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The Super 5,4-17-2010, 7:28PM
I agree with Stephanie most parents say things like that to their children. Its just like saying to my girls when you get rich I hope you buy me a car then they smile or laugh. As for $3000 that is a great price especially with the ecomony like it is. It should be about the fact that her daughter thought of her not how much she spent. I would be proud that my girls thought enough about me to go through all of the trouble to plan a party I would not care if it cost $100. Fifty should be fabulous for parents. So I would say great job to Billie and Happy Birthday to her great mom who turned 50.
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Mikki C., NC,4-17-2010, 8:23PM
After reading all of your comments, all of you have valid points. And, we can agree to disagree- on many things. However these are all individual OPINIONS (and we are all entitled to them) and not JUDGEMENTS. No one is judging. After all, this is Billie's story! Blessings to all!!
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JeanE.,4-17-2010, 8:21PM
Well aren't you just too wonderful? Don't forget to "Toot Your Own Horn".
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MomHadIt,4-17-2010, 8:36PM
My mom always said, "I hope when you grow up, you get a kid Just like you." My just turned 16 yr old is all me and more. I now realize what a lovely teenager I was. Sorry mom, I'm grateful you warned me.
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tHYYME,4-17-2010, 8:53PM
My daughter gave me a MUCH better 50th birthday gift! She gave birth to my 3rd grandchild...a girl...on my 50th birthday! Forget the party! That only lasts a few hours. My granddaughter is a joy forever!
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Kelly,4-17-2010, 11:39PM
That's awesome. Congrats Grandma!
Pamela,4-17-2010, 8:58PM
Come on people! The mom probably (in jest) said that she had to throw the party. Who wouldn't want to give their parents a wonderful birthday party! The Party sounds like it was a huge success! Billie, you sound like a wonderful daughter! And 50 was really important for me, too! Ignore these people who are jealous of what you did and just know your mother was VERY happy!
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Mikki C., NC,4-17-2010, 9:03PM
To: JeanE.-
The horn is not mine to blow- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!!!!
I could have been dead sleeping in my grave, but for the kindness and care of God, doctors that He put in place, friends that helped me, and children that cared. So whenever ANY of you chose to be sarcastic and negative, remember that tomorrow is not promised to you! I truly enjoyed my 50th, wheelchair and all, and this month I was Blessed to see 56. So take some time to be grateful every morning when you awaken, and remember IT COULD HAVE BEEN THE OTHER WAY!! Once again, God Bless You!
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