Credit: Buy CostumesPhDarling
Nothing screams, "I spent two years earning my masters, then four years in a PhD program, wherein I completed a doctoral dissertation about the incremental construction of surface light fields," like this silky cap and gown that barely grazes the bottom of my butt cheeks. Maybe next time I'll just go for my associate's degree in "Forgetting to Put on Pants."
Available at Buy Costumes for $19.99
Credit: Buy CostumesSexy Chucky
I remember watching Chucky when I was a wee tot and being frightened out of my ever-loving mind. But even scarier than "Child's Play" is the fact that someone would be willing to pay $40 to be a sexed-up version of a voodoo demon doll. Seriously, if I needed an excuse to dress up like a sociopathic redhead, I'd lose the axe, add some vodka, and just be Lindsay Lohan.
Available at Buy Costumes for $39.99
Credit: Buy CostumesSexy Brian from "Family Guy"
Let's say, theoretically, I wanted to dress up as Brian from "Family Guy" for Halloween. My first costuming instinct would probably be a fuzzy dog suit with elastic ears and a nose to match. Do you know what my very last instinct would be? A micro-mini and go-go boots. On the plus side, the dress has Brian's picture emblazoned on it, 'cause clearly no one is going to figure this one out on their own.
Available at Buy Costumes for $54.99
Credit: Buy CostumesElmo Sassy Female Adult Costume
Call me a killjoy, but I'm pretty sure the only reason there is a "sassy adult" version of an Elmo costume is because some fetishist wanted an excuse to say "Tickle me" all night. 'Cause clearly, this costume has no business being anywhere near kids. That decapitated Elmo head being used as a jaunty hat is enough to scar children for life and desecrate childhoods everywhere.
Available at Buy Costumes for $59.99
Credit: Buy CostumesNaughty Nem-Oh
Hey look! I found Nemo! No, wait, wait, I found a shimmery spandex orange and white leotard, matching legwarmers, a tiny black tutu, and four inch heels. You can understand my confusion though. Just call me Dory.
Available at Buy Costumes for $58.99
Credit: Buy CostumesCrayola Tickle Me Pink Tank Dress
Color me cynical. First of all, the proportions of this crayon are all off: The sheath of the dress would have to be twice as long in order to mimic the ratio of an unused crayon, and the outfit's stretch against her curves make it look like the wax melted in a child's sweaty palm. Second of all, no woman would be caught dead in that parking cone hat. I mean, c'mon now.
Available at Buy Costumes for $28.99
Looking for a Halloween costume you would wear? AOL Shopping has the dish on what's hot this year. There's not a Sexy Chucky costume in sight. Go figure. Or check out our craftier DIY costume ideas or these ideas from Etsy. And don't forget to plan your Halloween party with ideas and games from Celebrations.com.
And let us know what you think of these costumes on our Facebook page.