Thanks to a CA judge, "Festivus" is now an official observance for jail inmates. Credit: Columbia TriStar Television / Everett Collection
Claiming a strict observance of the religious holiday known as "Festivus," 38-year-old Malcom Alarmo King convinced a California judge that his religion wouldn't allow him to eat the usual prison gruel. According to the New York Post, Judge Derek Johnson took the seemingly sincere request into consideration, ruling "The defendant is to receive a high protein no salami diet three times per day for 'Festivism.'"
Festivus, in case you are not aware, is a fictional holiday invented by Frank Costanza on the show "Seinfeld" as an alternative to traditional holidays like Christmas and Hannukah. Festivus was actually created by writer Dan O'Keefe, in the early 1960s; O'Keefe's son Daniel was a writer on "Seinfeld" and included the celebration in an episode that aired in 1997.
Apparently Judge Johson missed that particular week of television.
We think the "Seinfeld" writers would be proud of Malcom King, though. King's assertion that he needed the special meals as part of his religious observance is precisely the kind of bald-faced scam that could've easily found its way into a "Seinfeld" script, though. Instead, this hilarious bit of prankery aired -- sans laughtrack -- in the America judicial system. And it worked.
Since King's incarceration in May, the inmate has enjoyed pre-packaged kosher meals that reportedly cost more than twice as much as the usual jialhouse slop. Even more hilarious, the Orange County Sheriff's Department didn't realize it was being scammed until someone searched "Festivus" on Wikipedia.
While King has enjoyed the fruits of his "Festivus for the rest of us" prank (the other rites of Festivus include the airing of grievances, feats of strength and the "Festivus pole"), it has taken months for Orange County attornies to overturn Judge Johnson's ruling.
"This guy doesn't need a kosher diet for Festivus," OC Sheriff commander Dave Wilson tells the NY Post. "But any inmate is free to observe the holiday. We don't have Festivus poles, but plenty of our housing locations have bars in them."
Looking for a reason to celebrate your own Festivus? How about these creepy Santas?

ms.r,12-16-2010, 8:05PM
hope he chokes dope dealing ba.. the judges should be be bared
Reply
Reality Check,12-17-2010, 2:23AM
First off, this guy is going to be MIGHTY sorry that he pulled this prank. He will be criminally prosecuted for making false statements in court, which is the worst kind of perjury since he profited from it.
Second, these prepackaged frozen meals that cost "three times" the amount of the normal prison slop (quoting the article here) means that they cost about 60 cents instead of 20 cents.
Finally, for those of you bitching about the extra price of his meal, where is your outrage over one million people in US prisons that are there for "crimes" that are either not crimes in other nations, or would have been handled with either counseling (at the expense of the guilty party) - or a fine? HERE is your problem - America's answer to every social is jail. If that isn't working, then you want even more strict laws and even longer jail sentences. That's why you have more prisoners than any other nation in the history of the world - more than TEN TIMES the number of prisoners in ALL of Europe!
Steve Walker,12-16-2010, 8:24PM
Thats one of the reason our judicial system is in the toilet, these silly a____ judges
Reply
jelun,12-17-2010, 12:23AM
could your inability to put a thought on "paper" be a reason our world is in the toilet?
Robin,12-16-2010, 8:36PM
Festivus is not the joke, the judicial system is the joke.
It takes all the income taxes paid by 5.4 working people to support each criminal in prison, because prisoners "have rights".
In China, which has an overbearing government, and well over 4 times the population of the U.S.,they have fewer people in prison than we do! Why, you maight ask? Because in China, a family member or friend has to show up every day to bring food for that prisoner, or they go hungry! Even to the point of starvation! They do not ride the system for food, clothing, shelter and entertainment. They pay a debt to society for not adhering to the laws of their society.
Reply
BillK,12-16-2010, 8:38PM
This judge is the reason people do not trust the justice system. He is really too stupid to be a judge, but joins a lot of other stupid judges. I do not know who appointed him, but they need to learn about what a judge should be and stupid is not one of the items on the list.
Reply
Freeborn54,12-16-2010, 9:01PM
Did you know that there is no requirement for a judge to be a lawyer, even on the Surpreme Court. Sure Judges are stupid that is why there are more mandated sentences for certain crimes by the legislators. I am looking forward to the time we take our justice system and start over or go back to the way it was run in the early 1900's and late 1800's. Hang those that kill. This is so sad that we have no real justice.
mike,12-16-2010, 9:07PM
I didn't know you could still get a law degree, from a book of matches advertisement.
Reply
Jammabama,12-16-2010, 9:05PM
How did he ever become a judge being that stupid?
Reply
buddy7768,12-16-2010, 9:14PM
EVERY prisoner in the usa should be loaded on ships and left in iraq and afghanistan.also mental institutions.think of the money it would save.they could never commit crime here again.the prisons would be empty.plus the added bonus of helping our islamic friends.happy kwanza bay bee.
88 HH
Reply
Kristin,12-17-2010, 12:50AM
Ignorant Buddy...There are a lot of innocent people in jail too.
Dan,12-17-2010, 2:39AM
Ok Herr Buddy Adolf. Criminals deserved to be punished! There's no question about that and our system is far too lenient. However what your suggesting about the infirm, is what Hitler did in Germany. He was a criminal of the highest magnitude and anyone that thinks what he did was ok, has some serious mental health issues. Perhaps they should be locked up too!
TOM H,12-16-2010, 9:20PM
TYPICAL CALIFORNIA FRUITCAKES' /LIBERALS /SOCIALISTS/+ QUEERS
Reply
PST OFF,12-16-2010, 9:21PM
This so called Moron Judge Dereck Johnson should be disbared and should pay for all the meals Malcolm King ate . People !! this is why California is in the toilet its the Nancy Pelosi / Boxer removed from reality mind set. You really do not expect anything diffrent from the loons .in that state do you?
Reply
Kristin,12-17-2010, 12:50AM
PST OFF.....THEY DON'T SOUND AS CRAZY AS YOU. IF YOU DON'T LIVE OUT THERE DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT IS REALLY SAD THAT YOU CARRY SO MUCH HATE.
PST OFF,12-17-2010, 9:45AM
KRISTIN !! I LIVED IN SAN FRAN FOR 48 YRS MY WIFE WAS BORN THEIR THATS WHY WE LEFT TO GET AWAY FROM PEOPLE LIKE YOU. MY WIFES ODD DUCK SISTER IS NAMED KRISTIN ALSO.
mike,12-16-2010, 9:22PM
Let's find out who appointed him/her and make fun of him/her too.
Reply
Yon,12-16-2010, 10:16PM
Empty our prisons by dressing the inmates in desert camo suits and wooden guns and let them loose in the wilds of Afghanistan. Our Arab friends will love taking care of their lodging, clothing, fodder, heat and cool, women and booze needs. The French used to man whole infantry units with convicts given the option bewixt prison and cannon fodder. Once drunk, they fought quite well. Some of them were refered to as the Foreign Legion, when they were not aliens.
Reply
MeMeMe,12-16-2010, 10:25PM
You have got to be freakin' kidding me! What is our judicial system coming to?
Reply
Capwhan,12-16-2010, 11:11PM
I bet it was a mool judge doing for a mool convict.
Reply